Christmas Pudding - Your Instructions

To those people who kindly accepted the gift of one of my premier high-quality Christmas puddings - here are your instructions!

1. Condition after transportation

The muslin may have slipped a bit during transit. If so, either pull it down at the sides so it gets tighter (more like the skin of a drum) or you can even re-tie the string if you wish.

2. Storage

Fridge or somewhere cool is good. The muslin has brushed with clarified butter so obviously that will solidify as it gets cooler, and if it's warmer it smells less attractive in my opinion. It makes no difference to the pudding though! Don't worry!

3. Heating

In order to eat it, you have to heat it!

Having removed all the plastic packaging, you will now have a pudding in a basin covered with muslin and tied up with string. OK?

To warm it it needs to be steamed for 2 1/2 hours (two and a half hours).
Use a large saucepan. Put something in the bottom of it like a very small bowl or saucer. Then put some water in the saucepan and put the pudding on top of the bowl or saucer, with the little end at the bottom and the muslin at the top. The water should come no more than halfway up the sides of the pudding basin. Put the lid on the pan. Turn on the heat so the water starts to boil then leave it simmering for 2.5 hours, adding boiling water if the pan starts to get dry. Just let it simmer, it doesn't need to be boiling fiercely thank you very much! And don't let the water get in the pudding, we are steaming it not boiling it!

You could also do a similar method, but using a roasting tin with water in it and the pudding basin in the water. Cover everything with foil to keep the steam in, add water if it starts to dry out. Oven temperature 150 degrees centigrade or equivalent.

4. Sauce

(for 10 people)
500 ml (18 fl oz) double cream
70 g (2.5 oz) sugar
8 g (1 tsp) potato flour (or cornflour), mixed with 1 tbsp milk
70 ml (3 fl oz) brandy

Put the cream and sugar in a saucepan, bring to the boil, then lower the heat and reduce gently by a quarter. Stir in the flour and boil for 1 minute. Add the brandy. Keep the sauce hot without letting it boil.

5. Serving

When you have finished heating the pudding, remove the string and muslin and the round piece of greaseproof paper. Now we're getting closer!

Gently release the pudding from its basin. put it onto your serving plate with the big end at the bottom, like the Great Pyramid except round!

Pour a bit of brandy on it, touch a flame to it and it should burn merrily and mysteriously with a magical flame. Turn the lights down to appreciate. Don't trip over the dog though.

After the flame has burned out, cut the pudding into portions and bash them gently and stylishly into everybody's bowls. Then you can put the brandy cream on.

Then eat it!

Notes:
tsp: teaspoon
tbsp: tablespoon
oz: ounce
ml: millilitre
fl oz: fluid ounce

I hope this wasn't complicated! Good luck!

And of course, Merry Christmas, and to all a good night!

Latest Update

The puddings are done and should be maturing nicely. The whole house smelled puddingy and wet while they were steaming. It was quite nice actually!

And your fact for today is the King Charles II was so keen on clocks that he had seven of them in his bedroom. It sounds a lot but then I don't know how big his bedroom was and it could well have been ENORMOUS, perhaps rendering today's fact not-so-remarkable. Nevertheless...

Big Pudding Project

It's a bit late for making Christmas Puddings...but I think it's best to do things rather than not. So they will have at least one month to mature before any eating happens. That's something!

What is alarming is how long it takes to make them.

I have finally gathered all the ingredients after about four days of scouring the streets of London for currants (they don't have them on the streets, you have to look in shops - maybe that's why it took so long?) and have the bowls etc. Now I have read the recipe. I thought I could have them finished by tomorrow night but the mixture has to rest for two days before it can be cooked.

Do you think that's long? Every aspect of this recipe requires great patience. Here are some further figures:

Cooking time: Eight hours!

Heating time: yes, HEATING, how long it takes just to get them hot when you want to eat them - two and a half hours!!

Preparation time, as it says in the book: "two hours, to be done one to five years in advance"

I didn't put a "!" at the end of the last sentence. I think you probably put your own one in there...

!!!

The recipe is from my excellent book, "The Roux Brothers on Patisserie". They say the recipe came from a "superb English cook" called Mrs. Bradbrook about 50 years ago. I don't know, there's something about the word "superb" there. Is it "superb" and "English"? Would a Frenchman normally use both in the same sentence? It certainly has some sort of unusual air about it.

Right so they should hopefully be done by Friday. I'm making four!

How to Cook Chicken

OK here's a cookery tip for you.

Chicken (if you eat it) is one of the most difficult things to cook because it easily gets into an upsettingly dry, tough, squeaky condition which nobody wants but many people don't know how to avoid.

Here is the secret.

OK assuming you have cut it into small pieces, and you are frying it in a frying pan, all you have to do is: leave it. Yes, you read me correctly. Do nothing!

The side of the chicken pieces that is in contact with the pan is the side that is cooking. Turning it over now will make it cook faster (two hot sides). If you have other ingredients to add, and often there are lots of things to add and not enough time, then you don't want the chicken to be cooked before you start the other bits. No you don't, because the chicken will be over-cooked then. So just leave it in its initial position. THEN, when everything is cooked right, and the plates are ready, etc, then and only then should you turn it over. This way, it will be ready when you want to eat it and not before.

Remember that hot food continues to cook while it's on the plate. So stop cooking the chicken just before it looks ready. This means, if you cut a piece or split one with the cooking implement, it should be, well, not exactly pink in the middle, but certainly not quite white yet ("cooked chicken colour"). Yes, stop BEFORE it is ready. Stop when it is NEARLY ready.

So when it is on the plate in front of your guest or customer (or you) it will be the right colour inside. Because it is hot, and is still cooking itself as you watch!

Does that make sense?

To summarise:
1. in the pan, leave the top side of the chicken raw until you are ready to go.
2. turn it over to complete the cooking but stop just before it is cooked all the way through.

Now please tell me it worked.

McGee

I had so many different things to write about that there just wasn't enough time to write about them! And the trouble with that is that the longer I leave it, the more things I have to write about! I thought I should just say hello so you know I am still here.

However, I have just discovered that the interesting food writer Harold McGee has a blog which you can reach by clicking his name in this sentence. Harold McGee's great book On Food and Cooking is a 100% quality opus which is heartily recommended by me. Through it you can find out answers to puzzling questions like why are my peas grey, why is this steak too tough, and other things which might help you a little bit around the kitchen.

As for me, this 100% quality opus you see in front of you will continue soon!

Believe It!

Instead of looking around desperately trying to think of something to take a picture of, I have lately been working on calming down and believing that I will find a picture if there is one to be had.

I was a bit disheartened because all I had were a few over-exposed squirrels not doing anything, so I sat under a tree to eat my bagel (bagel, smoked salmon, lemon juice, cracked black pepper, you can put butter on the bread or use olive oil). Then after that I looked up and what should I see? Exactly, it was something I thought looked interesting. It was the scene you can see above.

And you know another thing? I'm telling you (and myself) that we should all have faith that the right opportunities will come our way when we need them to. Seeing my picture was evidence of that. But the next thing I saw, it had got a bit darker, and there was the moon! A crescent moon right in front of me. I hadn't even moved my position.

You can see the moon more easily in a large size version of the picture. It's on the left, near the church. Of course, to the naked eye it appeared much bigger, because the eye is sort of the best camera ever and focuses and zooms without us realising it.

I hope you can see there is a lesson to learn from this, wherever and whenever you wish to apply it. Right?

The Hag

I remember a funny thing. It must have been around in the 1980s or 90s. It was a kind of coffee. It came in a jar, and on the jar was the name of the coffee: Café Hag!

What is Hag?

–noun
1. an ugly old woman, esp. a vicious or malicious one.
2. a witch or sorceress.
3. a hagfish.
[Origin: 1175–1225; ME hagge, OE *hægge, akin to hægtesse witch, hagorūn spell, G Hexe witch]

—Related forms
haggish, haglike, adjective

—Synonyms 1. harpy, harridan, virago, shrew.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.0.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

So you see why it was a bit strange. Here it is (I could only find a German picture but it is similar):

Yes, that is the Hag! What a funny thing to sell in England. But as we know, there are lots of product names that haven't travelled well. Remember Coca-Cola (the cocaine-free sugar drink)? In China they picked a translation that meant "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax". Now it is called "happiness in the mouth", I hear. In Taiwan they said "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead" (Come alive with the Pepsi generation). Jolly Green Giant (something to do with frozen vegetables) in Arabic means Intimidating Green Ogre. Clairol's Mist Stick (for hair curling) is all about manure in German.

So what is Hag all about? Well I can tell you now. It was the first decaffeinated coffee, created through a process, invented by Dr. Ludwig Roselius, which was patented in Germany in 1906. Dr. Roselius supported numerous artists as well as one called Adolf Hitler (he met him in 1923) so you can put that in your cup and stir it too. Café Hag, OK, "HAG", pronounced Haaaahhhhg in the adverts, comes from Kaffee HAG, the original German name, which is short for Kaffee-Handels-Aktien-Gesellschaft. Which means something like Coffee Company. So no hags there. Kaffee-Hexen-Aktien-Gesellschaft would have been better (made by witches).

The French name was Café Sanka (sans-caffeine, san-ka: caffeine-free) and this name was used in the US, where Roselius had been selling his Café HAG since 1914, but he had his company and trademark confiscated by the Alien Property Custodian since it was the First World War and he was now an ENEMY!

So you see the dangerous and exciting world of coffee! Now you know why everyone shakes after they drink it.

Detox Diet Food

I'm not putting you on a detox diet, I'm just telling you which foods are good and which are different from good.

Let me explain.

You need to eat food to give you energy to live. Not all of the food you eat is digested; some is expelled as natural waste. Your body takes out all the good bits it can use first. There are various organs it uses for this, an important one being the liver.

The liver filters out poisons, or toxins (hence "detox"). This does not necessarily mean you are eating poison - sometimes it does though!

But the liver has to do this filtering all the time, and sometimes it has a lot to do. Sometimes it can get overloaded. It does its best, but when it cannot cope it does everything it can to keep working. This can mean relocating some of the toxins and storing them in your body to be expelled when there is less of a demand on the liver. One such method is to store them as adipose tissue - fat!

The liver, and your body, always does the best it can. As well as storing waste it cannot safely eliminate, the body can also send it out in other ways. So if you have ever had spots, bad breath, or a strange rash, it could be this method at work. Sometimes it looks less attractive, but it is always good for you.

So, spots etc. are actually waste being eliminated in a safe way (avoiding liver damage, you see). It is natural, but it is a sign that the liver is overloaded, and that things could be managed more easily if there were less of a load on it.

Do you want to know what is hard for the liver to process, and what is easy or even helpful? OK I will tell you!

CAUSES PROBLEMS:
Drugs (so-called "recreational" drugs)
Drugs (medical drugs - these are intended to help but they are foreign to the body and it will fight to eliminate them if it can)
Tobacco (smoking, oh dear, I hope you don't smoke)
Alcohol (Drink! It is hard to process too. You know that alcoholics can suffer liver failure, don't you)
Tea and Coffee (very common, I know, but you also know they are strong stimulants, don't you! Especially if you drink them...)

OK that's all for "special cases". Now we can talk about food.

MORE DIFFICULT TO PROCESS:
Red Meat (especially big steaks)
Potatoes
Tomatoes
Peppers
Aubergines
Mushrooms
Olives
Processed meats like sausages
Dairy Foods (Dairy fat): milk, cream, cheese, yoghurt etc.
[Apparently a lot of fat is harder to process too.]
Wheat
Food with preservatives, colourings, artificial flavourings
Sugar - buy any soft drink and tell me it does not have sugar in it (sugar, sucrose, dextrose, levulose, fructose, "fruit sugar" - it's all the same!)
Salt
Soya products (legumes such as peanuts, soy beans, and other beans contain a substance which inhibits the enzyme trypsin (from the pancreas) which is needed to digest them - but this is only really a problem in compromised livers, it is not so bad as bad things!)
Smoked foods

EASIER TO PROCESS:
Chicken and other poultry
Eggs
Oats, barley, rye, millet, buckwheat (also in flour and pasta)
Fish (though it is suggested you shouldn't have too much fish because of what we put into the sea...and into the fish)

ACTUALLY GOOD FOR YOUR LIVER:
Vegetables: Alfalfa, artichoke, bean sprouts, beetroot (not pickled!), broccoli, brussels sprouts, cabbage, kale, dandelion, fennel, garlic, leek, onion, parsley, radish, watercress
Fruits: Apple, pear, apricot, avocado, banana, berries, cranberries, grapefruit, grapes, lemon, orange, papaya, pineapple, watermelon.

How many from the last category did you have today? And how many from the first? And how is your health?

Anyway, a healthy digestion can cope with all normal things - but some of us need to get healthy first. Cutting out toxins will also make you feel happier and have more energy.

So now you know that if you feel a bit nauseous or have a headache, it could be because of "difficult" foods and drinks. So you can consider that now you know about it.

And if you ever feel a bit like that, you can have some of the nice foods to start feeling better!

That's what I wanted you to know about.

If you went for a serious "detox" then that would be different. It hurts! I mean, it should not hurt, but there can be some pains as toxins are released. So be careful - don't do it while you are working!

Oh yes, did I forget to mention one thing that's very good for you?

WATER!

Have a lot - but not too much. (Vegetarians will need less)

A good drink to have is water with lemon juice in it.

Also remember that the best foods are organic, fresh, pure. Organic means "growing" - organic food is "food that's grown in a growing way" rather than in a perverted and unusual way - there's nothing special about it, it's just the natural way! It can be more expensive, but it is getting a lot better. If money is a problem, get the best you can afford - this is your health and happiness, and if you are feeling better you will soon be able to earn more money!

The lists of good and bad liver foods I got from Liver Detox Plan by Xandria Williams. Here it is if you want one! -



[Health Note: Remember, health is a serious matter. I am not a qualified health professional. I am just speaking from personal experience. If you are concerned about your health you should speak to a qualified person.]

Recommendations

There are 25 countries in the world that have no army. Did you assume, like I probably did, that all countries have an army?

I suppose we are used to conflict - it is the rule rather than the exception.

Among the 25, there are different reasons for the absence of an armed force. In a number of cases, the US military takes care of any hostile situation that might arise.

But I can see at least one that deliberately doesn't have an army.
Here is what I read on Wikipedia about Costa Rica:

On December 1, 1948, president José Figueres Ferrer of Costa Rica abolished the country's army after victory in the civil war in that year. In a ceremony in the Cuartel Bellavista, Figueres broke a wall with a mallet symbolizing the end of Costa Rica's military spirit. In 1949 the abolition of the military was introduced in the Article 12 of the 1949 Constitution.

The budget previously dedicated to the military now is dedicated to security, education and culture; the country maintains armed Polices Guard forces. The museum Museo Nacional de Costa Rica was placed in the Cuartel Bellavista as a symbol of commitment to culture.

In 1986, president Oscar Arias Sánchez declared December 1 as the Día de la Abolición del Ejército (Military abolition day) with law #8115.

Unlike its neighbours, Costa Rica has not endured a civil war since.

This is my first recommendation for today: staying away from conflicts.

Further recommendations:

Squid
Squid Ink
Mushrooms: Morels, or any kind, dry-fried for a while, then with lemon juice and black pepper added - tastes of autumn

Quiz: what is the tastiest part of the prawn?

Bonito

There is no such thing as Bonito. If you read a cookery book that says it is an ingredient in Japanese food, it is wrong. Bonito is the word for fish from the tuna family (Mr. and Mrs. Tuna, and all the little tunas...just joking). But the Japanese food product made from dried fish of this type (e.g. skipjack tuna) is actually called katsuo.

I think this is right. Honto desu ka?