Aitches

Elp! I'm losing my aitches. The letter 'H' (pronounced "aitch"), which I used to be able to pronounce without fail, is being eroded from my English accent.

It's still there at the beginning of words, but in the middle of something or in casual speech it is deteriorating. "What was 'e saying?" I ask. There is always a variation in intensity of aspiration on the H (depending on the formality or intensity of the situation) but I just recently noticed I wasn't controlling it as much as before. I think it must be because of the local-type accent I hear so much of the time in London.

Strangely, all the other regional accents I have been exposed to for long periods have had the missing H as well. But I never missed it myself until now.

I don't want to lose my Hs. I want to pronounce them because they are part of the words I want to say. People need to be able to understand what I am saying.

Of course, the language has lost sounds before. We don't pronounce the "gh" in "night" - but when I hear it I can hear a trace of it. I checked, and I pronounce Brite and Bright differently (Brite is not a word, so this was the first time I ever had to pronounce it!)

Even in "Wednesday" there is a D in there somewhere.

But these are ghost letters. Will my H go the same way?

Fee

Lou Costello always split his fee 60-40 in favour of his partner Bud Abbott, because of how much he valued the straight man in a comedy duo.

Big Cake!

Black Forest Gâteau
(Schwarzwälderkirschtorte)

Ingredients:
a). Cake:
150g butter
150g caster sugar
125g of self-raising flour plus 25g cocoa powder
3 eggs

b). Black Forest-Type Goodies:
375ml double cream (whipping cream)
1 tin of cherries (should be Morello cherries, I used black cherries)
Kirsch (a bit)
25g plain chocolate
0g Black Forests

First you make the cake. Like this. Mix the butter and sugar in a bowl (helps if butter is not cold). Add the eggs and mix. Put in the flour a bit at a time and mix. Next add the chocolate powder. Mix! (You guessed it). Now you have a cake mix. Jolly good. Spoon it into a greased circular cake tin. The kind with the removable bottom is very convenient. Cook in pre-heated oven at 180°C until you can insert a sharp knife into the cake without it coming out with any cake mixture on it, i.e. until it is cooked. Trala, now you have your cake. Get it out of the tin and let it cool on a wire rack (if you can wait!)

Next thing is to whip the cream. Make sure it is cream suitable for whipping, otherwise you will be waiting a long time and your arm may not survive the experience. Use a whisk and get plenty of air in it. When the cream suddenly goes nearly solid, you have arrived! It will now stand up against the force of gravity. Excellent for putting on a cake, more about that later.

De-tin the cherries, draining them and keeping the juice or syrup. Remove the stones by making a small cut in each cherry with a teaspoon and getting the stone out with your finger. You should get the hang of it. Each time you get a particularly firm and impressive cherry, keep it to one side until you have eleven of them - these are for the decoration. The rest you should cut in half. Then fold them gently into half of the whipped cream. This mixture will stick the insides of the cake together. Ja, gut!

Nearly there now. Cut the cake into three, horizontally. You now have three circular cake pieces. On a plate put the bottom bit and prick holes in it with a fork. Sprinkle on the Kirsch mixed with the cherry juice. Use a pastry brush and you will feel quite professional. Give it a good soak, whatever you use. Now spoon on half of your cream/cherry mixture into the middle of the cake base. Squish on the next circular cake piece. Do the same soaking-sprinkling procedure to this part, and then spoon the rest of the creamy cherries onto that. Lastly squish on the top part of cake. Why not take this opportunity to give that part a good soak with the cherry juice?

OK, smooth the remaining whipped cream over the outside of the assembled cake. Decorate with the eleven whole cherries on the top. Grate the plain chocolate over the whole thing. It's done! You are now the proud owner of one prime plot of Black Forest Cake! Move in and enjoy your investment!

Adjustments:
I would like to try it with fresh cherries. I didn't have any Kirsch so I used cherry brandy left over from Christmas 1532. You can grate the chocolate fine or thick. Adjusting the thickness will involve changing your grater for one with bigger holes. Or you could use a fruit/vegetable peeler.

The recipe came from Mrs. Beeton, but was later deranged by Mr. Beeton.

Finally, here is a picture of my first attempt, taken with my 2.1 Megapixel camera that cost so little that they almost paid me to take it off them, hence the quality is not perfect. Ok, look now!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is just one of the things that could happen if you happened to have a spare hour and some cream and cherries, etc.

PS Yum!

Mistake

Further to the Carbonara recipe, if you are making an emergency ad hoc experimental edition of it, don't add lemon to milk. It will curdle and you will have made an unusual type of cheese rather than a spaghetti dish traditionally associated with charcoal-burners.

I did!

How else would I know?